My teenage whininess forced my mother to join a Jungian women’s group, where she learned her Dream Animal is a giraffe. Maybe it was a book group and a Jungian analyst? It’s possible I’m conflating some things. When it comes to personal minutiae, the responsibility for keeping track flows more from parent to child than the other way around, eh?

Anyway, this blog, which I started as an assignment for a class I’m taking, got leaked a little bit because of @kplawson9’s enthusiasm for social media, and I was reminded why I have always liked to write a once-a-year Christmas letter on a typewriter, glue a Polaroid or a candy cane to it, and mail it via USPS to anyone whose address I might still have in my little red planner from the Coach outlet, Senior Skip Day, Norfolk Academy, 1994. Remember when Chris Farley used to interview celebrities on SNL and then immediately berate himself for whatever he said? I think it’s kind of obvious that I live like Chris Farley: balls out, immediately regretting almost everything I say.

So I wanted to make it clear that in my previous post I meant “Dream Animal” in a Jungian sense, to the extent I remember, or ever knew what that means. I don’t dream of owning a German Shepherd in the same way I dream of being able to kitesurf, or being a bartender/ski bum in Aspen with no children. Though I do seem to do a lot of daydreaming about it, and to friends who’ve apparently heard a little much about the potential unrecommended dog, it’s become known as my direwolf, and I don’t even know if those exist outside of Game of Thrones. Don’t tell me, because I enjoy imagining myself as Daenerys, with my big loyal direwolf following me to Whole Foods and Montessori. I know–Daenerys has dragons. But that’s not very likely to happen is it? The last thing I want is to end up with an unruly, un-furry dragon, and the whole de-clawing issue again. All I meant was, when I’ve taken the right combination of sleep medications, or performed my yoga fire breaths–this second thing is an aspirational lie, ugh, and an unintentional pun, which I hate but now I’ve said it and can’t un-type–to dream vividly, the animal most likely to appear is a wolf-like dog. But I will do my best to remember not to get one, even though I’m sure they are available online.

I lied about the babies, too. I’m not going to talk about babies.
Next time: I explain my first post, about Austin, which was really more of a Tweet, or a Tumbl? Fingers crossed the topic will be covered in my next class.